<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><rss xmlns:atom='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' version='2.0'><channel><atom:id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068</atom:id><lastBuildDate>Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:38:33 +0000</lastBuildDate><title>Bancuri si Videoclipuri  - Portia de Râs</title><description>Portia de râs este un divertisblog ce doreste sa va aduca zambetul pe buze chiar si atunci cand in viata voastra sunt multi nori negri. Aici veti gasi ultimele bancuri de pe net, cele mai haioase videoclipuri, si nu numai...</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/</link><managingEditor>noreply@blogger.com (GOD)</managingEditor><generator>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>654</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-8706275303807876405</guid><pubDate>Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:35:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-12-09T21:38:33.272+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>bancuri</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>Taina</category><title>Bancuri...de la Taina</title><description>-Ce inseamna PSD?&lt;br /&gt;− Presedinte in Seara de Duminica.&lt;br /&gt;− Dar PDL?&lt;br /&gt;− Presedinte in Dimineata de Luni.       &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sotul asteapta langa salonul de infrumusetare. Dupa un timp  indelungat iese de acolo sotia sa... El se uita la ea, respira adanc si spuse :  Bine, macar ai incercat!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="userText"&gt;In sala de asteptare trei barbati stau cu sufletul la  gura.Iese moasa si il felicita pe primul: - Felicitari aveti gemeni! - Doamne,  ce coincidenta, eu chiar lucrez la Minessota Twins... Dupa o ora iese aceeasi  femeie si spune celui de al doilea tatic: - Incredibil, aveti tripleti!!! - Nu  pot sa cred, ce coincidenta, eu lucrez la 3M Company. Al treilea lesina.... - Ce  s-a intamplat, intreaba moasa? - El lucreaza la 7UP... &lt;/p&gt;O femeie isi intreaba sotul ce ar vrea pentru micul dejun&lt;br /&gt;- Niste ochiuri cu sunca? Suc de grapefruit si o ceasca de&lt;br /&gt;cafea?&lt;br /&gt;El refuza:&lt;br /&gt;- Nimic, cred ca de la Viagra mi-am pierdut pofta de mancare.&lt;br /&gt;La pranz, ea il intreaba din nou:&lt;br /&gt;- O ciorbica de burta? Un gratar cu cartofi prajiti? Niste&lt;br /&gt;berici?&lt;br /&gt;El refuza:&lt;br /&gt;- Nimic, cred ca de la Viagra mi-am pierdut pofta de mancare.&lt;br /&gt;Seara la cina, ea vine din nou cu oferta:&lt;br /&gt;- O slaninuta buna cu ceapa rosie? Un pic de telemea cu&lt;br /&gt;rosii? Niste vinut?&lt;br /&gt;El refuza:&lt;br /&gt;- Nimic, cred ca de la Viagra mi-am pierdut pofta de mancare.&lt;br /&gt;Ea explodeaza:&lt;br /&gt;- Atunci da-te un pic jos de pe mine ca eu mor dracului de&lt;br /&gt;foame!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Care e cel mai inutil animal?&lt;br /&gt;-Sirena: nici nu poti sa o mananci, nici nu poti sa o f***!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-8706275303807876405?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/12/bancuride-la-taina_7329.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-7344592853175749214</guid><pubDate>Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:28:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-12-09T21:32:00.237+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>bancuri</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>Taina</category><title>Bancuri...de la Taina</title><description>Maria : Ioane, cum se zice corect? Funicular sau furnicular?&lt;br /&gt;Ion : La ce?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nevasta lui Bula isi pune picaturi in ochiul stang, apoi in cel drept si, la sfarsit, intre picioare.&lt;br /&gt;- Esti nebuna? Acolo de ce pui? O intreaba Bula, siderat de gestul ei.&lt;br /&gt;- Cum de ce? Raspunde femeia. A trecut multa vreme de cand nici ea n-a mai vazut nimic!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;El si ea la restaurant. Ea, sorbind dintr-un pahar de vin:&lt;br /&gt;- Sa stii ca nu poate fi vorba de sex inainte de casatorie.&lt;br /&gt;- Atunci suna-ma dupa ce te casatoresti.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Unui barbat i s-a furat cardul de credit. Nu a depus plangere deoarece hotul cheltuia mai putin decat nevasta-sa.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;- Scumpule, zice sotia.... .mai tii minte stiucile alea pe care le-ai prins asta vara, când ai fost la pescuit cu prietenul tau Vasile? &lt;br /&gt;- Sigur ca da, iubito. &lt;br /&gt;- Ei bine, una din ele a telefonat sa te anunte ca ai devenit tata!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Examen la medicina. Un singur tip si 30 de gagici in grupa.&lt;br /&gt;Intra prima - Ce se mareste pana la 20 de ori cand este excitata?&lt;br /&gt;- Hihihi, hahaha! - Iesi afara, ai 4!&lt;br /&gt;Intra a doua. - Ce se mareste pana la 20 de ori cand este excitata?&lt;br /&gt;- Hihihi, hahaha! - Iesi afara, ai 4!&lt;br /&gt;Intra toate, li se pune aceiasi intrebare si toate iau 4.&lt;br /&gt;La sfarsit intra tipul si i se pune aceiasi intrebare.&lt;br /&gt;- Ce se mareste pana la 20 de ori cind este excitata?&lt;br /&gt;- Pupila.&lt;br /&gt;- Bravo ai 10, du-te si spune la proastele alea de-afara ca "hihihi si hahaha" se mareste intre 5 si 8 ori...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Isarescu la frizer.&lt;br /&gt;Tzâc, tzâc, tzâc!&lt;br /&gt;Frizeru: Domnu Guvernator, cum mai merge economia?&lt;br /&gt;Isarescu : mm..., bine.&lt;br /&gt;Tzâc, tzâc,tzâc!&lt;br /&gt;Dupa câteva minute&lt;br /&gt;Frizeru: Domnu Guvernator, cum mai merge economia?&lt;br /&gt;Isarescu : mm..., bine.&lt;br /&gt;Tzâc, tzâc,tzâc!&lt;br /&gt;Dupa câteva minute..&lt;br /&gt;Frizeru: Domnu' Guvernator.&lt;br /&gt;Isarescu: Auzi, da ce ma tot intrebi?&lt;br /&gt;Frizeru: Pai când va întreb vi se ridica parul si il tai mai bine!!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Un betiv, in drum spre casa, se impiedica si cade. Se ridica cu greu, porneste si iar cade.&lt;br /&gt;- Daca stiam ca o sa mai cad o data, nu ma mai ridicam.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;O pustoaica intra la frizerie cu tac'su. Sta langa scaunul frizerului, mancand o gogosica, in timp ce tac'su se tunde.&lt;br /&gt;Frizerul ii zambeste si-i spune cu amabilitate: - Draguta, o sa ai par pe gogosica. &lt;br /&gt;- Stiu, raspunde ea. O sa-mi creasca si tzatzele...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Un barbat se duce la medic si ii spune:&lt;br /&gt;- Domnule doctor vreau sa ma castrati !&lt;br /&gt;- Ma omule ,esti sigur ? Vad ca esti tanar si puternic...&lt;br /&gt;- Sigur domnule..&lt;br /&gt;- Bine, semneaza aici...asa si aici. Nu am timp acum sa discutam mai mult.. Dupa operatie,doctorul vine la pacient si-l intreaba:&lt;br /&gt;- Spune-mi si mie de ce ai facut-o ?&lt;br /&gt;- Pai m-am imprietenit cu o fata evreica si stiti la ei e un obicei mai ciudat ...&lt;br /&gt;- Da ma dar asta e circumcizie.&lt;br /&gt;- Pai eu cum am zis...?!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-7344592853175749214?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/12/bancuride-la-taina_09.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-4138880577776436353</guid><pubDate>Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:25:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-12-09T21:28:08.060+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>bancuri</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>Taina</category><title>Bancuri...de la Taina</title><description>Doua oltence, colege de banca, in timpul tezei la fizica.&lt;br /&gt;Una sopteste, usor agitata, catre cealalta:&lt;br /&gt;− Auzi , nu mi-e clar la problema asta cu vitezele, cat fu T1 la tine?&lt;br /&gt;− Pai… cam zece minute, cred…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Basescu a ajuns la Londra, la hotel a sunat pe “room-service” si a spus :&lt;br /&gt;” TU... TI... TU.... TU TU TU”.&lt;br /&gt;Nimeni nu a inteles nimic si au cerut ajutor de la ambasada Romana. A venit un traducator oficial si in sfarsit au aflat ce vrea Basescu:&lt;br /&gt;“2 ceaiuri la camera 222″&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Doua batranele s-au hotarat sa mearga impreuna in vizita la prietena lor Clementina. Ajunse acolo au fost primite cu multa bucurie de ea si au fost tratate cu o cafeluta. Dupa ce au stat putin de vorba Clementina le spune:&lt;br /&gt;- Vai, dragele mele am stat atata de vorba si nu v-am facut nici o cafeluta. Vin acum cu ea.&lt;br /&gt;Si asa, din uitare in uitare, le-a facut vreo sapte cafelute, pana sa plece.&lt;br /&gt;In drum spre casa, una din ele ii spune celeilalte:&lt;br /&gt;- Ai vazut ce s-a sclerozat Clementina? Am stat atata timp la ea si nu ne-a dat nicio cafeluta!&lt;br /&gt;- Cum draga ai fost la ea si nu m-ai chemat si pe mine?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; Ion moare. La inmormantare preotul o intreaba pe Maria “vrei sa-l pupi&lt;br /&gt;inainte sa-l bagam inauntru? ” Ea explodeaza in lacrimi: ” asa imi&lt;br /&gt;spunea mereu si el”...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-4138880577776436353?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/12/bancuride-la-taina.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-1146254208906505574</guid><pubDate>Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:21:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-11-16T13:25:34.033+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>poezii haioase</category><title>Plugusor electoral</title><description>Aho ,aho,copii si frati …………&lt;br /&gt;Meditati si m-ascultati,&lt;br /&gt;Iar de n-oti fi incantati,&lt;br /&gt;Doar in gand sa ma-njurati,&lt;br /&gt;Nu aici,cand voi postati…&lt;br /&gt;Veniti si nu pregetati,&lt;br /&gt;Pe doojdoi sa-i votati..!&lt;br /&gt;Paru’ sa vi-l periati,&lt;br /&gt;Cu grija sa-l pieptanati,&lt;br /&gt;La subrat sa epilati,&lt;br /&gt;Ca la urne transpirati…&lt;br /&gt;Mic dejun sa nu mancati,&lt;br /&gt;Mai bine sa degustati,&lt;br /&gt;Ca face rau la ficati..&lt;br /&gt;Frumos sa va imbracati,&lt;br /&gt;Hainele bune sa luati…&lt;br /&gt;Nu fiti impacientati,&lt;br /&gt;Cand la cozi v-aliniati&lt;br /&gt;Si in sectii voi intrati..&lt;br /&gt;Fiti calmi si nu panicati,&lt;br /&gt;Nu cumva sa fraudati,&lt;br /&gt;Ca atunci sunteti mancati..&lt;br /&gt;Grijile acas lasati,&lt;br /&gt;De val sa nu fiti purtati,&lt;br /&gt;Cand siglele cautati,&lt;br /&gt;De patima macinati…&lt;br /&gt;In tusuri sa inmuiati&lt;br /&gt;Stampilele cand votati&lt;br /&gt;Si nu fiti influentati,&lt;br /&gt;De cei rai, imbarligati…&lt;br /&gt;In fine,copii si frati&lt;br /&gt;Atentie ce votati,&lt;br /&gt;Ca cinci ani sa nu oftati,&lt;br /&gt;In ei sa nu va bagati&lt;br /&gt;Nu spui , va imaginati&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-1146254208906505574?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/11/plugusor-electoral.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-5488781342353730794</guid><pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:51:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-11-12T13:51:49.763+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>video</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>Basescu</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>hitler</category><title>Hitler, sef de campanie electorala</title><description>&lt;object width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZCH4DA_DRjI&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;hl=en&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZCH4DA_DRjI&amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;hl=en&amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-5488781342353730794?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/11/hitler-sef-de-campanie-electorala.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>2</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-7497943806107253855</guid><pubDate>Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:20:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-11-11T13:21:02.823+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>video</category><title>Best 100 hits of Youtube</title><description>&lt;object width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BudhFVnN2o0&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BudhFVnN2o0&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-7497943806107253855?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/11/best-100-hits-of-youtube.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-1628472805769591619</guid><pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:46:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-11-10T15:53:44.178+02:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>ajutor</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>claudia chelan</category><title>Salvati o viata, salvati-o pe Claudia!</title><description>&lt;p align="justify"&gt;Astazi va invit sa incercam un nou exercitiu, nu voi fi eu cel care va incerca sa va aduca zambetul pe buze,ci  voi incerca sa va fac pe voi sa readuceti zambetul pe buze unei tinere studente la medicina, Claudia, care este  grav bolnava si  are nevoie de ajutorul nostru.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="justify"&gt;Claudia are 24 de ani si este studenta in ultimul an la Facultatea  de Medicina din cadrul Universitatii de Medicina si Farmacie Craiova. Visul ei este sa devina doctor pentru a-i putea ajuta pe cei aflati in suferinta. Are un suflet bun si cald si este iubita atat de colegi cat si de profesori, fiind unul dintre cei mai buni studenti din generatia ei. Nu ai cum s-o cunosti si sa nu o iubesti. In ochii ei albastri nu se regaseste decat bunatate, daruire si modestie.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Din luna februarie 2009, cand a fost diagnosticata cu o boala maligna a ganglionilor limfatici – un tip rar de limfom, ea ne-a dat tuturor o lectie de demintate. Claudia nu a lasat ca nenorocirea care i-a curmat destinul sa-i spulbere visele. A inceput lupta cu boala de una singura, tacit si fara sprijinul celor din jur nedorind sa isi impovareze colegii si prietenii. In aceasta perioada, desi a urmat o cura puternica de chimioterapie, nu a lipsit de la facultate si nu a trezit suspiciunea apropiatilor. Mai mult, atunci cand colegii ii admirau noua coafura, care de fapt era rezultatul tratamentului, ea gasea puterea sa zambeasca si sa le multumeasca. In sesiunea din vara a dat toate examenele si a avut numai note de 10.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Insa tratamentul puternic cumulat cu eforturile din sesiune au dus la aparitia unei insuficiente corticosuprarenaliene. Momentan este in desfasurare o reevaluare completa a starii ei, estimandu-se necesitatea unui transplant de maduva cu celule stem, tratament al carui cost este estimat la 100.000 de euro.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Acum viata ei depinde si de noi. Putem face ceva sa-i readucem zambetul pe buze si bucuria de a trai. In acest moment Claudia are nevoie de noi toti, cei care o cunosc si tin la ea, sau cei care nu o cunosc, dar vor sa faca un lucru nobil, oferindu-i posibilitatea sa-si urmeze vocatia de a fi mereu aproape de oameni, intelegandu-i si alinandu-le suferinta.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="justify"&gt;Mai multe detalii pe &lt;a href="http://www.claudia-chelan.eu/index.php"&gt;www.claudia-chelan.eu&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="justify"&gt;Un medic salveaza intr-o viata sute de alte vieti.&lt;br /&gt;Salveaza viata unui viitor medic!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Doneaza pentru Claudia!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Conturi deschise la BCR, sucursala Lapus, Craiova, Dolj:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Cont in LEI&lt;br /&gt;Cont: 2511.A13.0.2056579.0138.ROL.3&lt;br /&gt;IBAN: RO52RNCB0138020565790003&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Cont in EURO&lt;br /&gt;Cont: 2511.A13.0.2056579.0138.EUR.4&lt;br /&gt;IBAN: RO25RNCB0138020565790004&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Titular: Chelan Claudia-Valeria&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-1628472805769591619?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/11/salvati-o-viata-salvati-o-pe-claudia.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-5757356302434771312</guid><pubDate>Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:42:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-23T15:45:54.595+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>vanatori</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>La vanatoare</title><description>&lt;div style="text-align: justify;"&gt;Un vânător cedează cicalelilor nevesti-si şi o duce la vânătoare. Acolo îi explică cum se ţine puşca, cum se ţinteşte, cum se apasă pe trăgaci. Îi mai spune, de asemeni, că atunci când a împuşcat un animal să se grăbească la el , ca nu cumva un alt vânator să-şi însuşească trofeul. După puţin timp aude dinspre nevastă-sa o împuscătură şi vociferari. Porneşte într-acolo şi o vede pe nevastă-sa certânduse zdravăn cu un alt vânător asupra unui leş de animal. Apropiindu-se, îl aude pe vânător strigând:&lt;br /&gt;- Bine duduie, bine, e-n ordine, ne-am înţeles, cerbul e al dumitale. Dar lasă-mă cel puţin să scot şaua de pe el...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-5757356302434771312?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/la-vanatoare.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>2</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-4840090837208074259</guid><pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:49:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-21T10:50:34.637+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>gheorghe</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>ion</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>femei</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Si cum a fost in Egipt?</title><description>Ion şi Gheorghe îşi fac vacanţele separat .&lt;br /&gt;Ion se întoarce din vacanţa de iarnă mulţumit.&lt;br /&gt;- Ei, şi pe unde ai umblat, Ioane?&lt;br /&gt;- Prin Suedia, măi!&lt;br /&gt;- Şi cum sunt scandinavele?&lt;br /&gt;Ion dă din colţ în colţ, nu dă un răspuns clar.&lt;br /&gt;Acasă, caută în dicţionar. "Aha, scandinave, adică femeile de acolo! Cum de nu am ştiut, să mă fi lăudat, că aveam cu ce!"&lt;br /&gt;Anul următor, Ion se întoarce din vacanţă bronzat.&lt;br /&gt;- Ei, Ioane, pe unde ai mai fost?&lt;br /&gt;- Grecia, ţară frumoasă, măi!&lt;br /&gt;- Ei, dar elenele?&lt;br /&gt;Ion rămâne iar mut. Nervos, acasă, căută din nou în dicţionar: "Aha, femei de acolo!"&lt;br /&gt;Un an mai târziu, Ion se întoarce iar bronzat.&lt;br /&gt;- Şi cum a fost în Egipt, Ioane?&lt;br /&gt;- Frumos, cald, cămile, alea, alea...&lt;br /&gt;- Şi piramidele?&lt;br /&gt;- Curve!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-4840090837208074259?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/si-cum-fost-in-egipt.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>1</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-1481889868022644196</guid><pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:06:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-20T08:08:10.752+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>blonde</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>La bairam</title><description>La un bairam, un tip se ofera sa-i mai toarne whisky in pahar unei gagici blonde.&lt;br /&gt;- Nu mai vreau, fiindca imi face rau la picioare!&lt;br /&gt;- Va tremura?&lt;br /&gt;- A, nu, mi se desfac!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-1481889868022644196?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/la-bairam.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-489169257319419646</guid><pubDate>Sun, 18 Oct 2009 20:06:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-18T23:07:23.382+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>homosexuali</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>politisti</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Seara, in parc</title><description>Un om se plimbă liniştit, seara, prin parc. Dintr-o dată, se leagă un homosexual de el. Speriat, o ia la fugă şi întâlneşte un poliţist. - Domnule poliţist, m-a agresat un homosexual! - Păi, ce cauţi noaptea în parcul nostru?&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-489169257319419646?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/seara-in-parc.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-3963667675253168427</guid><pubDate>Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:01:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-13T09:02:32.694+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>ion</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>maria</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>La tara</title><description>Ion termina facultatea de medicina si e repartizat intr-un sat. Acolo medicul batran il informeaza ca nu poate sta cu el prima saptamana (cum ar fi trebuit) si pleaca spunandu-i sa fie atent la ce face.. Se intoarce peste 7 zile si-l intreaba ce a facut. La care Ion ii spune:&lt;br /&gt;- Prima data a venit o baba ca o durea capul, asa ca i-am dat un calmant. A doua oara a venit un copil julit la genunchi, asa ca am curatat rana, am dezinfectat-o si l-am pansat. Vineri cand sa inchid cabinetul a venit Maria, a incuiat usa , s-a dezbracat si s-a intins pe masa spunandu-mi:&lt;br /&gt;- Ioane, nu am vazut barbat de trei luni!&lt;br /&gt;Medicul cu sufletul la gura il intreaba pe Ion:&lt;br /&gt;- Si ce-ai facut?&lt;br /&gt;- I-am pus picaturi in ochi!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-3963667675253168427?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/la-tara.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>2</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-8888489620743121260</guid><pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:36:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-07T08:37:39.459+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>video</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>funny commercials</category><title>Super reclama la Canal+</title><description>&lt;object height="344" width="425"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p6EJfM59ZO4&amp;amp;color1=0x234900&amp;amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1"&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p6EJfM59ZO4&amp;amp;color1=0x234900&amp;amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="344" width="425"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Via &lt;a href="http://www.neuronu.ro/"&gt;Neuronu'&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-8888489620743121260?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/super-reclama-la-canal.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-9152501455306411940</guid><pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:15:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-07T08:16:41.669+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>maxime</category><title>Cateva lucruri despre ... casatorie</title><description>1. Primul an este mai greu, ceilalti sunt imposibili. (Isidoro Loi)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2. Nu te casatori pentru bani, poti gasi de imprumut mai avantajos. (Proverb scotian)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3. Cand o familie de proaspat casatoriti rade, toata lumea stie de ce. (Anonim)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;4. Cand o familie de zece ani rade, toata lumea se intreaba de ce. (Alt anonim)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;5. Dragostea este oarba, dar casatoria indreapta acest defect. (Proverb normand)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;6. Cand un barbat ii deschide sotiei usa autoturismului, poti fi sigur de un lucru: ori masina este noua, ori sotia. (Alt anonim)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;7. A doua casatorie reprezinta triumful sperantei asupra experientei. (Samuel Johnson)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;8. In antichitate, sacrificiile se faceau in fata altarului. Si in prezent e la fel. (Helen Rowland)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;9. Sunt indragostit de aceeasi femeie, de 45 de ani. Daca afla nevasta-mea, ma omoara. (Henny Youngman)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;10. Burlacii ar trebui sa plateasca un impozit mai mare; nu este corect ca unii barbati sa fie mai fericiti decat altii. (Oscar Wilde)&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-9152501455306411940?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/cateva-lucruri-despre-casatorie.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-8522023470728631962</guid><pubDate>Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:42:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-10-01T09:42:40.420+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>arabi</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>unguri</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Ia glontz</title><description>Un irakian si un kuweitian stateau fata in fata in transee si se impuscau de zor. La un moment dat irakianului i se blocheaza mitraliera:&lt;br /&gt;- Bisda ma-tii de busca imbuzita ! injura irakianul in cea mai pura limba romana de care era el in stare.&lt;br /&gt;Kuweitianul il aude si il intreaba intr-o romaneasca la fel de pur stalcita:&lt;br /&gt;- Bei bork de gâine, de inde stii la tine ruminejte, bei ?&lt;br /&gt;- Ieu facut jgoal la Rumania, bei gegule goglit !&lt;br /&gt;- Zeu ? Ji unde fecut la tine jgoal ?&lt;br /&gt;- In Biucresh.&lt;br /&gt;- Ei ! Ji ce jgoal fecut tu, bei ?&lt;br /&gt;- Bolitehnica. Da’ di ge ?&lt;br /&gt;- Pei ji eu fecut jgoal la Romania.&lt;br /&gt;- Daaa ? Ce jgoal ?&lt;br /&gt;- Eu fecut Medigin la Tirgu Murej.&lt;br /&gt;Irakianul intre timp isi reparase mitraliera si incepe sa traga mai  indirjit dupa kuweitian.&lt;br /&gt;- Ia bei glonz, la bizda ma-tii de ungur&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-8522023470728631962?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/10/ia-glontz.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-2496764963213432197</guid><pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:50:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-28T21:52:34.713+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>ciobani</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Cum reusesti?</title><description>Un cioban şi un domn stăteau în compartimentul trenului. Trenul trece pe lângă o stână, la care ciobanul:&lt;br /&gt; - Hmm, 271 de oi! Încearcă şi celălalt să le numere, dar nu reuşeşte. Mai târziu, trec pe lângă altă stână.&lt;br /&gt;- Hmm, 349 de oi! Din nou, celălalt numără, scoate calculatorul din buzunar, calculează, dar nu reuşeşte. Trece trenul pe lângă a treia stână.&lt;br /&gt;- Hmm, 521 de oi! Scoate ăsta laptop-ul, se conectează la satelit, dar nu reuşeşte să-şi dea seama câte oi sunt. Apoi îl întreabă pe cioban:&lt;br /&gt;- No, bade, d'apai cum reuşeşti să numeri oile?&lt;br /&gt;- No, le număr intai picioarele şi-apoi împart la 4.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-2496764963213432197?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/cum-reusesti.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-5961247547731198065</guid><pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 07:49:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-28T10:50:26.880+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>video</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>steaua</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>hitler</category><title>Adolf Hitler, fan Steaua</title><description>&lt;object width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HnegCEVSTCk&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HnegCEVSTCk&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-5961247547731198065?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/adolf-hitler-fan-steaua.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-1670317731248983618</guid><pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:15:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-24T15:15:54.122+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>bula</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>doctori</category><title>Doctor Bula</title><description>Dr. Bula in America...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bula ajunge în America si nu stie cum sa faca rost de bani.&lt;br /&gt;Merge el prin oras si vede un cabinet:   "Dr. John. Vindec toate bolile din lume"..&lt;br /&gt;Mai merge ce mai merge si vede alt cabinet: "Dr. Smith.  Vindec toate bolile din lume".&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Se gîndeste el sa-si deschida un cabinet asemanator.&lt;br /&gt;Zis si facut. "Dr. Bula. Vindec toate bolile din lume".&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Acum concurentii s-au gîndit sa-l elimine si trimit la el un om sa se planga ca i-a disparut simtul gustului.&lt;br /&gt;Pacient: Dom' doctor, orice manînc nu pot simti gustul mîncarii. Nu stiu ce sa fac!&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Se rezolva. Asistenta, vezi dulapul 6, sertarul 5, 2 lingurite.&lt;br /&gt;Pacientul inghite o lingurita: Pai dom' doctor, asta-i cacat..&lt;br /&gt;Bula dicteaza asistentei: Pacient recapatat gustul.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A doua zi pacientul vine din nou.&lt;br /&gt;Pacient: Dom' doctor, am o mare problema.... Nu tin minte nimic. Uit de la mîna pin' la gura..&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Nici o problema. Se rezolva. Asistenta, vezi dulapul 6, sertarul 5, 3 lingurite.&lt;br /&gt;Pacientul: Pai, dom' doctor, daca-mi dati iar cacat...&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Pacient recapatat memoria.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A treia zi pacientul vine iar.&lt;br /&gt;Pacientul: Stiti, dom' doctor, am o mare problema; stiti, eu cu femeile nu prea mai pot, ce mai, nu mi se scoala.&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Se rezolva si asta. Asistenta, te rog dezbraca-te.&lt;br /&gt;Se dezbraca asistenta, se misca pe lînga pacient, nimic.&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Da, e adevarat, dar stati linistit, se rezolva. Asistenta, dulapul 6, sertarul 5, 4 lingurite.&lt;br /&gt;Pacientul: Dom' doctor, daca-mi dati iar cacat, va fut si pe dvs si pe asistenta de nu va vedeti.&lt;br /&gt;Bula: Pacient recapatat potenta.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-1670317731248983618?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/doctor-bula.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-5994678620533627332</guid><pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:26:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-24T14:27:15.089+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>politica</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>...restul lumii</title><description>Recent s-a efectuat un sondaj pe plan mondial.. Intrebarea a fost: "Va rugam sa ne spuneti opinia dumneavoastra in legatura cu lipsa de alimente din restul lumii." Sondajul a fost un esec total: - In Africa nu stiau ce inseamna "alimente". - In Europa de Vest nu stiau ce inseamna "lipsa". - In Europa de Est nu stiau ce inseamna "opinie". - In America de Sud nu stiau ce inseamna "va rugam". - In S.U.A. nu stiau ce inseamna "restul lumii".&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-5994678620533627332?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/restul-lumii.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-8690307162204042711</guid><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:41:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-13T23:41:40.641+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>barbati</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Bec</title><description>Un barbat avea nevoie de cateva zile libere de la serviciu. Ca sa-l induplece pe sef sa-i acorde zilele dorite a facut-o pe nebunul, agatandu-se de tavan. Una dintre colegele de birou l-a observat cocotat acolo sus si l-a intrebat:&lt;br /&gt;- Ce faci?&lt;br /&gt;- Fac pe nebunul ca sa iau cateva zile libere. Ma dau drept bec !&lt;br /&gt;Seful si-a facut aparitia in birou, si desigur ca l-a si intrebat ce face.&lt;br /&gt;- Sunt un bec luminos !&lt;br /&gt;- Ai inceput sa deviezi, omule ! Iti dau o saptamana libera ca sa-ti revii la normal. Cum a zis asta, barbatul a si sarit jos si a iesit din birou. Colega lui se indrepta spre usa, dar seful a intrebat-o:&lt;br /&gt;- Unde pleci?&lt;br /&gt;- Imi pare rau, sefu', dar nu pot sa lucrez pe intuneric!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-8690307162204042711?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/bec.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-8795648625090772049</guid><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:40:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-13T23:40:32.779+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>politica</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Capitale</title><description>Zice-se ca in perioada razboiului rece la o intalnire dintre presedintii&lt;br /&gt;URSS si SUA acestia s-au amuzat aducand o ghicitoare sa le prezica&lt;br /&gt;&gt; viitorul natiunii lor. I-a ghicit prima data rusului:&lt;br /&gt;- Aoleu, vad puzderie de capitale: Moscova, Chisinau, Kiev, Minsk, Vilnius,&lt;br /&gt;&gt; Taskent, Erevan si altele de nu mai incap in globul de cristal; vai tara asta va fi praf!&lt;br /&gt;Zambetul rusului ingheata. Americanul repede o intreaba pe ghicitoare:&lt;br /&gt;- In SUA cate capitale vezi?&lt;br /&gt;Se uita ghicitoarea, se uita, ghiceste greu ...&lt;br /&gt;- Una singura,Washington!&lt;br /&gt;- Of, mi-ai luat o piatra de pe inima. Dar de ce ai citit asa greu?&lt;br /&gt;- Pai era scris in araba.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-8795648625090772049?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/capitale.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-3253691527271343335</guid><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:38:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-13T23:39:15.163+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>sex</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Naufragiu</title><description>Un tip naufragiaza pe o insula nelocuita impreuna cu o oaie si un caine. Dupa un timp de sedere pe insula, incepe sa-l atraga oaia. Dar la orice incercare, cainele se repezea si-l musca. Odata, stand el pe malul insulei, vede o epava. Inoata pina la ea si da peste o femeie lesinata, tanara, cu o caroserie trasnet si superfrumoasa. O salveaza, iar cind femeia isi revine din lesin ii spune cu o voce dulce:&lt;br /&gt;- Esti salvatorul meu... Cere-mi orice si voi face ceea ce vrei...!&lt;br /&gt;La care tipul, fericit, ii spune:&lt;br /&gt;- Tine tu cainele !!!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-3253691527271343335?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/naufragiu.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-869582536945795309</guid><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:14:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-13T23:14:49.225+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>sex</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Analiza</title><description>Un batran de 75 de ani, merge la spital sa faca o analiza a spermei. Doctorul ii da un borcan si-i spune:&lt;br /&gt;- Ia borcanul asta si vino cu analiza maine!&lt;br /&gt;A doua zi, batranul apare, cu borcanul la fel de curat si gol ca ziua trecuta.&lt;br /&gt;Doctorul intreaba ce s-a intamplat, iar batranul explica:&lt;br /&gt;- Stiti, doctore, uite ce-am patit: Prima data am incercat cu dreapta, apoi cu stanga si nimic. Apoi am chemat-o pe nevasta-mea. A incercat si ea si cu mana dreapta, si cu mana stanga, apoi cu gura: prima data cu proteza, apoi fara proteza si tot nimic. Apoi am chemat-o pe vecina de alaturi: a incercat si ea si cu amandoua mainile si cu gura si tot fara rezultat.&lt;br /&gt;Doctorul era socat:&lt;br /&gt;- Ai chemat-o pe vecina? la care batranul raspunde:&lt;br /&gt;- Da, si oricat ne-am chinuit, n-am reusit sa deschidem borcanul!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-869582536945795309?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/analiza.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-5993106035468588088</guid><pubDate>Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:57:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-09-08T07:57:43.279+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>studenti</category><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>banc</category><title>Examen la ASE</title><description>Studenta sustine examenul la Economie. Subiectul: teoria economica a lui Adam Smith. Profesorul, in varsta, observa ca studenta nu are idee despre teoria economica si dorind, totusi, s-o promoveze o intreaba: - Dar care este prenumele lui Smith? Fata se iuta in sala – poate vreun coleg ii va sopti, dar in zadar. - Hai amintiti-va, este atat de simplu! Fara rezultat... Profului i se face mila de studenta si parinteste o intreaba: - Atunci, spune-mi: cum il chema pe primul barbat? Fata rosind si evident rusinata raspunde: - ...Petrica...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-5993106035468588088?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/09/examen-la-ase.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item><item><guid isPermaLink='false'>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071807819305980068.post-6230593740918139137</guid><pubDate>Wed, 19 Aug 2009 08:30:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2009-08-19T11:31:26.677+03:00</atom:updated><category domain='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#'>video</category><title>Partly Cloudy</title><description>&lt;embed width="450" height="366" src="http://www.220.ro/emb/hWwIfrkhOs" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3071807819305980068-6230593740918139137?l=portiaderas.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><link>http://portiaderas.blogspot.com/2009/08/partly-cloudy.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (SGB)</author><thr:total xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'>0</thr:total></item></channel></rss>